Comments on: No Shame, No Gain

By: costume jewellery

costume jewellery — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 11:06:34 +0000

Great post- I admire your ability to be so honest about topics like this.

By: GGS

GGS — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 17:46:52 +0000

Karen, thanks so much for the comment. I love how you used the words “practice being brave and strong.” You are so right, those qualities don’t just happen on their own — they require practice, and with practice, you get better at it. I relate to so much of what you said. I hope you’ll keep reading! -Liz

By: Karen

Karen — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 04:31:36 +0000

I have to say that any real shame I feel is not related to getting a divorce, but instead, is for staying in a horrendous marriage as long as I did. I work on being forgiving, and am reasonably successful, but every once in a while I am compelled to beat myself up a bit for “being stupid.” Frankly, I have also spent some energy congratulating myself for finally getting myself and children out of what was a traumatic and dangerous situation. We have been able to move on to a more peaceful life, but because the divorce is not done, it is challenging to not occasionally reflect back on the year’s leading up to it. I spend too much time thinking, “If only I’d left 2 years ago, 6 years ago, 10 years ago,…” I was in too much denial, and then too scared to leave. That is what I am ashamed of, that I let fear get in the way of rescuing myself and my children. Instead, I was scared every day, in my own home. Now, I practice being brave and strong, not easy as I negotiate so slowly through this seemingly interminable divorce process. I am flourishing, and mostly at peace, except for the fact that my ex is trying to punish me by hurting our children. I will protect them, with every ounce of strength I have. Sorry to go on, I guess I needed to vent!

By: Bobbi Palmer

Bobbi Palmer — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 23:56:18 +0000

Liz:
Great blog. I love, love, LOVE your ability to cut right to it, acknowledge the pain and nastiness of it all…and then encourage us to move forward with grace and forgiveness…especially for ourselves. It really is all a learning experience, and if you stop to soak it in and accept your humanity (as you have) it will most definitely lead to greater happiness and contentment (both in yourself and in your relationships).
I’m quite sure you’re helping many women get through it and come out the other end.