Comments on: A Grateful Heart http://www.girlsgonesingle.com/a-grateful-heart Happily Ever After Divorce Tue, 15 Jun 2010 11:06:34 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Susan Tatum http://www.girlsgonesingle.com/a-grateful-heart/comment-page-1#comment-17 Susan Tatum Fri, 09 Oct 2009 17:22:54 +0000 http://www.girlsgonesingle.com/?p=81#comment-17 Change is hard, and the total life change caused by divorce is like gold being refined in the crucible. I guess the important thing to remember during the process is that we are of infinite worth. For many of us, our sense of self has totally been replaced by the sense of 'us.' Now that 'us' doesn't exist, we must slowly not only regain the sense of self, but the value of self. If I could personify gold, I would guess that it would feel great agony at having the impurities burned out of it, even as we feel pain at our own process. However, what is left is pure and valuable. Facing the process with as much positive as we can at the moment does more than just prepare us (me) for gratitude in the future, but keeps us (me) facing forward and moving forward, even with small steps. The gratitude will come. I am grateful now for small things related to the divorce, such as not only having the support of my family and friends, but finding that my coworkers have been united in supporting me; that HIS family have been there supporting me (he cut ties with his own family even as he cut them with me). I feel like I have an entire cheering section or even army there to cheer me on, to pick me up when I stumble. With their help, support and cheering, I am picking myself up and moving on. I am trying to make positive changes in my life--try new things just for me. I know I'm already making positive changes in my life, and for this alone, I'm grateful. Give me a year or two, and I suspect I'll even say I'm extremely grateful for all of it, including the pain, as from the pain is coming new life and growth. Change is hard, and the total life change caused by divorce is like gold being refined in the crucible. I guess the important thing to remember during the process is that we are of infinite worth. For many of us, our sense of self has totally been replaced by the sense of ‘us.’ Now that ‘us’ doesn’t exist, we must slowly not only regain the sense of self, but the value of self.

If I could personify gold, I would guess that it would feel great agony at having the impurities burned out of it, even as we feel pain at our own process. However, what is left is pure and valuable. Facing the process with as much positive as we can at the moment does more than just prepare us (me) for gratitude in the future, but keeps us (me) facing forward and moving forward, even with small steps. The gratitude will come.

I am grateful now for small things related to the divorce, such as not only having the support of my family and friends, but finding that my coworkers have been united in supporting me; that HIS family have been there supporting me (he cut ties with his own family even as he cut them with me). I feel like I have an entire cheering section or even army there to cheer me on, to pick me up when I stumble. With their help, support and cheering, I am picking myself up and moving on. I am trying to make positive changes in my life–try new things just for me. I know I’m already making positive changes in my life, and for this alone, I’m grateful. Give me a year or two, and I suspect I’ll even say I’m extremely grateful for all of it, including the pain, as from the pain is coming new life and growth.

]]> By: GGS http://www.girlsgonesingle.com/a-grateful-heart/comment-page-1#comment-16 GGS Fri, 09 Oct 2009 14:32:37 +0000 http://www.girlsgonesingle.com/?p=81#comment-16 Agreed, Susan. Sometimes trying to conjure a sense of gratitude in the middle of hardship is just unreasonable! But in my experience, even the most difficult experiences yield up some kind of positive lesson or insight after enough time has passed. Thanks very much for reading. -- Elizabeth Agreed, Susan. Sometimes trying to conjure a sense of gratitude in the middle of hardship is just unreasonable! But in my experience, even the most difficult experiences yield up some kind of positive lesson or insight after enough time has passed. Thanks very much for reading. — Elizabeth

]]> By: Susan Tatum http://www.girlsgonesingle.com/a-grateful-heart/comment-page-1#comment-15 Susan Tatum Fri, 09 Oct 2009 07:56:13 +0000 http://www.girlsgonesingle.com/?p=81#comment-15 Grateful or positive? Studies have shown that people who have more positive attitudes live longer and are in better health than those who are more pessimistic. Sometimes, we dip our cup into the well of gratitude but only come up with a few drops. Still, this should be enough. We don't have be overwhelmed or overwhelm Will be be greatful eventually Grateful or positive? Studies have shown that people who have more positive attitudes live longer and are in better health than those who are more pessimistic. Sometimes, we dip our cup into the well of gratitude but only come up with a few drops. Still, this should be enough. We don’t have be overwhelmed or overwhelm Will be be greatful eventually

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